Alice's Closet
by Salted Top Hat
Summary: What happens when Bella has an accident in Alice's insanely large closet? How will Edward find her? And after they do, how will they deal with the symptoms from her head injury?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own twilight, for if I did, I would be the smartest person alive.**

The Killer Closet!

Things To Remember:

-Set Two Months After The End Of Eclipse

-Bella and Edward's wedding isn't until late September, they are going to Dartmouth a year late so that Bella wouldn't be a nasty newborn anymore

-I may appear as Lil, I random character in the book sometimes

-Jacob hasn't imprinted yet

BELLA POV

"Alice!!" I screamed.

Curse Alice and probablly Rosalie too. Why did they have to go into my closet and take all my clothes? And to make matters worse, there was nothing else in here but...formal dresses. Ugh.

"What did Alice do?" Charlie asked.

"Everything!"

"Okay, then."

I picked the most promising dress (A red floor length) and sped downstairs, but to my dismay Charlie was already in the kitchen.

"Good morning Be-"

"Hey Dad. I have to get to school, talk to you later!"

Charlie attempted hiding a laugh, but I could already hear his guffaws as I ran out of the house.

I saw Edward waiting in my driveway, smiling. He kissed me, so tenderly, blood rushed into my cheeks, as usual. After going out with Edward for nearly a year by now, I still haven't figured out how to control my reaction. Unless he decided to change me, I was stuck with a very...human response.

"You look beautiful, love."

He held the door to his Volvo open for me, and I slid in, not caring if I wrinkled my dress.

"Ugh. I can't believe Alice did this to me!" I threw my hands into the air.

"Alice will be Alice."

"You have to help me get revenge!" I pleaded.

"Revenge?" Edward's eyebrows rose on his perfect face. "Against my own sister?"

"Come on. Can you imagine what the guys in school will be thinking? And Mike Newton is my partner in gym today..."

"Okay deal, but not now. You can come over to my house after school. We can shred her wardrobe, if you like."

I threw my arms around him.

"Thank you Edward!"

He smiled as we backed out of my driveway and into the road.

ALICE POV

Today was a good day. After school I was going on a date with Jasper, and I changed Bella's wardrobe to my liking. She'll be dressed so much nicer today. She'll hate me for this, but really, it was for her own good. Besides, by the time she's changed she won't be able to kill me. She'll probablly forgotten all about it by then.

"What are you so excited about?" Jasper asked. Damn his ability to sense emotions. I wanted it to be a surprise.

"You'll see."

He shrugged and went back to doodling in his notebook.

"Look, look there's Bella!"

I saw Edward helping Bella out of his car, he was such a gentleman. Either that or he's afraid she'll trip and fall. Probablly the second one.

She was wearing the long red dress I picked out for her. I knew she would choose this one, I don't know what that girl had against lace and frills, her case is beyond me. But she still looked stunning, even for a human.

"Jasper! LOOK at Bella!"

He muttered something to himself and then looked up. His eyes widened.

"Alice what did you _do_?"  "I helped her."

Edward and Bella passed us on their way to class, I saw Bella shooting daggers at me.

She was definently up to something. I tried looking into her future but I couldn't see anything. That meant she must have plans with Jacob. I was safe...for now.

"Come on Jazz, lets get to class! I hear we're dissecting frogs again, what fun!"

He rolled his eyes and we walked hand in hand to class.

EDWARD'S POV:

Bella was gorgeous. And that was just an understatement.

I knew Alice was plotting. She was blocking my thoughts all morning. Rosalie, too. But I didn't imagine that she would do this. One day, I should thank her.

I knew Bella was rather uncomfortable in what she was wearing, she detested anything that had to do with formal wear. She wanted help in seeking revenge against Alice. She supposedly had "plans" with Jacob tonight, so Alice wouldn't be able to see her. It was a good plan, but when dealing with Alice, you never knew what would happen.

The minute we got to school, my good nature subsided. You should hear the thoughts these humans were thinking! Especially Newton.

_Man does she look hot or what in that dress? I would love to wrap my arms around her and..._

Trust me, you really don't need to hear anymore.

We passed Angela Weber in the hall, and she offered Bella a change of clothes.

_Poor Bella, she must want to die. She hates clothes like this. I wonder if Alice forced her to wear that. Maybe I should talk to her._

I liked Angela, she was relatively kind, for a human.

When we passed Jasper and Alice on our way to English, Alice was a little frantic.

_Edward! I can't see her future! __You__ know what's going on! I demand you tell me!_

I smiled, Bella's plan was smoothly running its course. Although it didn't take much to upset Alice, so I guess we should just wait and see.

BELLA POV:

School wasn't as bad as I imagined. To my delight, and Alice's misfortune, Angela Weber had a spare pair of gym clothes. It was only sweats and an old t-shirt, but it was so much better than that dress (which I tossed in the dumpster).

But still Alice deserved revenge. She got rid of all my sleep wear too, forcing me too sleep in my underwear. It was Washington. My room got cold at night.

When we got to the Cullen house, Edward whispered to me.

"Don't worry, Alice is going on a date with Jasper after school. Just keep thinking about going to La Push, and you'll be fine."

I smiled. Poor Jake, we were using him unknowingly to get revenge. Oh well. What he won't know won't hurt him.

"I'll just grab a couple dresses and tear them up." I smiled and held up my scissors.

"Bella do you want me to go with you? No one has actually been in Alice's closet, not even Jasper." He said warily. What did he think, I would trip over a pair of shoes?  "I'll be fine Edward, I'd rather do it myself."

"I'll let you know if Alice is coming."

I walked into Alice's vast bedroom. Her vanity was covered head to toe with assorted, imported Italian makeup. Her bed was white victorian, a very simple, organized space. On the southern wall of the room, there were two, very large black doors. I poked the door knob, a little afraid that the door knob would electrocute me, but nothing happened.

I sighed in relief and opened the door.

A blinding red and blue light stunned me making a very loud noise. "INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER!" I stumbled stupidly, unable to hold myself together, I couldn't see anything. The light had paralyzed me. And before I went unconcious, my head fell against an extremely hard, marble statue of Alice Cullen.

**EPILOGUE:**

Meanwhile, somewhere in La Push, a very lonely werewolf is wondering where the hell Bella is.

**What do you think? Its my first fan fic. Do you like it? Do you hate it? I'm not good at beggnings, it will get better I promise! If I get at least five reviews, I'll write another chapter.**

**And remember, I don't own Twilight!**

**Stay Tuned!**


	2. Teaser!

**Important Note From The Author:**

**Thank you so much for all your responses! I will start the next chapter right away! But because you guys are all so awesome, I'm going to give you a little teaser! Thanks again!**

**-Lil**

BELLA'S POV:

"So...your name is Mike Newton?"

"Yeah."

"And you know who I am."

"Yeah."

"Ummm...could you tell me?"

He chuckled.

"Your name is Isabella Swan, and I'm your boyfriend."

**Dun dun dun!**

**Stay Tuned! :D**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two!

**And...we're back!**

**Last time in Alice's Closet, Bella was blinded and hit her head on a statue of Alice Cullen! A huge thanks to all the people who reviewed, and those who didn't, the Volturi will kill you! :)**

Edward's POV:

It was quite fun being involved in Bella's little schemes. I was standing "guard". If Alice came home early from her date, I would have to rescue Bella before she faced an untimely demise. Yes, currently Bella should be cutting Alice's best dresses into pieces. And then I heard a crash.

Not a loud crash, but the sound of a body crumpling to the floor.

I ran upstairs my thoughts concentrated on only one thing.

_Bella! Bella!_

Sure enough the love of my life was on the floor, cold and unconcious, lying under the statue of my sister.

"Carlisle!"

Bella's POV:

 I drifted. I was drifting. And dreaming. I was being, carried? What was going on? I attempted to open my eyes, but I was too tired to move. A pain thudded in the very back of my head. A wave crashed and took my concious away, and I was left with nothing. I was no one.

Alice's POV:

"Oh my god!"

Here I was enjoying a date with Jasper (We hadn't been on a date in forever!) and I had the most disturbing vision. My sister...on the floor, in my closet, with a pair of scissors in her hand. This only led to one possible answer.

"Jasper! Oh my god I think Bella committed suicide! And its all my fault!"

"What??"

"She was in my closet! And she was holding a pair of scissors, but she was on the floor! I didn't see any blood but..."

"Say no more Alice, we'll run. Maybe it hasn't happened yet."

He took my hand and we ran at blinding speed into the dark,

Edward's POV:

Pain. My love was in pain, so I was burdened to share the same pain, except emotional. My love was unconcious, and I didn't know if she would wake. I was curled in a ball on the floor, I didn't need to hold my pride if my love wasn't with me. Bella...

"Edward!"

I tried to look up and saw a glimpse of Alice and Jasper. Alice was so alarmed that she actually pulled the door out of its hinge. On a normal day, this would have been amusing but today.

"Edward is it too late?"  "I...I don't know."

"Did Bella kill herself?"

"_What?_"

"Edward, get up! I can't talk to you if you're on the floor!"

Suddenly, I felt, happy? I growled. Jasper. I was ashamed of myself to be happy in a time like this, but I had been able to gain enough strength to stand.

"Alice, she didn't commit suicide."

Alice raised her eyebrows.

"We...we were going to have revenge." I admitted. "Bella was going to tear up your best dresses, but my guess is that she fell hard against the statue of yourself in your closet. She's been unconcious for two hours so far, and Carlisle won't return my calls." I crumpled to the floor in agony.

"Wow, if I wasn't so worried about Bella I would be very pissed right now."

I cradled Bella's lifeless face in my hands.

"Bella..."  Alice cleared her throat.

"Edward I think we should go out..." 

"I'M NOT LEAVING HER!" I roared.

"Let me finish geez! I mean we should go to Carlisle, because clearly you haven't done that yet."  "I'm...not...leaving!" I strangled my words. How could I? I remembered that fateful day in Phoenix, Bella's body was so mangled and torn. But at least she was responsive, at least I knew she would be okay. Somehow, this seems so much more scarier.

Jasper stepped foreward.

"Edward, you'll deterioate if you stay here. Not physically, but emotionally. If you wish I could stay here and watch her."

I crouched over her protectively and bared my teeth.

"Aw come on Edward! Jasper's had very good self control lately! He'll be able to handle it!"

I sighed.

"You're going to drag me out of here by any means necessary aren't you?"  "Yes." Alice smiled.

"Alright, but if Jasper put's a finger on her, I will not hesitate to kill him."  Alice scowled.

"Jasper won't touch her."

I hesitated. "Alice, can you see her future."

She concentrated a second, then shook her head.

"Lets go."

I followed Alice out of the house, away from my world, away from...Bella.

Bella's POV:

I woke with a start. I was in a bed, but the pain I felt earlier had dulled. Everything else was blank. My memory was a blank piece of paper. I remembered nothing. I heard from another room the sounds of a videogame, but I didn't have the energy to leave just yet. I saw a mirror on the other side of the room. I stood in front of it and observed myself.

The girl before me was in her older teen years. Seventeen? Eighteen? She had long brunette hair and a good figure. Her outfit was a little plain, but good plain. The girl was me. But she was also a complete stranger.

"Hello, I'm nobody."

The girl didn't look convinced.

A lone tear escaped my eye, and then another, and another. Soon I was crying. My head in my hands.

I heard a tap against the window, and outside was a blonde boy with blue eyes. He looked familiar, where had I seen him before?

He opened the window.

"Hey! It's Mike! Come outside with me!"

I sighed. This day just kept getting weirder and weirder. But I had nothing else to lose. He held my hand as I crawled through the window.

Mike's POV:

Cullen. The name alone sent a series of shivers down my spine. I knew it was love at first sight when I saw Bella, and I didn't plan on any competition. The Cullens didn't date, that was practically a law! But then before I knew it Cullen was after Bella, and Bella fell for all his lies.

And come one! How could she choose him over _me?_ I'm irresistable!

So today, I decided to pay the Cullen's a little visit. I wanted to tell Ed.._Edward_ she was mine and she would be mine forever. After all she probablly secretly loved me. She just didn't know it yet.

But, to my suprise, I saw Bella in one of the windows. And she was crying.

I _knew _Edward did something to her! He's probablly abusing her and she's scared to end the relationship! I should help her!

I motioned for her to come outside and I helped her out of the window. She almost sprained her ankle in the process, but at least she was holding my hand.

"Umm, so you're Mike?"  I was shocked. How could she forget me already??

"You don't know me! We go to school together!"

"Oh, well this may sound...strange. But I think I have amnesia. I can't remember _anything_ not even my own name!"

She started to cry again.

Edward must be abusing her. He must have beaten her so hard she forgot who she was! Sweet tender Bella. That would explain the bruise on the back of her head.

Of course, I had to seize an oppurtunity like this. I could create the perfect girlfriend! And keep her out of Edward's evil hands forever!

"So if you know me, what's my name?"  "Your name is Isabella Swan. But you like being called Izzy."

She scrunched up her face.

"Oh."

"And, I'm your boyfriend. We've been together for three years," I thought if I was going to lie, I should be specific.

"My...boyfriend?" She said in disbelief.

I couldn't believe it! Even with amnesia, she still can't get around the fact that she loves me! I figure that I should just keep giving her more insignificant facts, about herself, she will begin to believe.

"Yes, you are the star of the womans soccer team and you hate English and literature." 

"Oh." She said again.

Now for the icing on the cake.

"Also, do you know how you got amnesia Bella?" 

"No."

"Listen Bella. Recently, you were in a car accident. A hit and run actually. And I know who did it."  She stared at me in shock, then her face melted into fury.

"Who?"  "Edward Cullen."

**--**

**Sorry thats all for now! Who knew Mike coud be so low? Stay tuned!**

**Review, review, review and you'll get another chapter or two! :)**


	4. Author Ramblings!

Authors Ramblings:

Oh my goodness, I am so incredibly sorry!

Well my grammar and spelling and exc. was HORRIBLE in Chapter Two so I am sorry for that and I promise I will edit out my errors.

Emmett: "You better! I haven't even been in a single chapter!"

Knocks Emmett over the head with a frying pan

Emmett: x.x

I am also sorry for not updating in a while, and I assure you chapter three will be out by tonight!

FORGIVE ME!

-Lil


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Last time in Alice's Closet, Mike lied to Bella telling her he was her boyfriend, and worse Edward Cullen caused Bella to lose her memory! Will Bella be in Mike's hands forever, or will a certain werewolf help her retain her memories? Meanwhile Edward and Alice are driving to the hospital to find Carlisle! Lets check in on them, shall we?**

**-Lil**

**P.S Yes I do hate Mike with the white hot intensity of a thousand sons :)**

**Edward's POV:**

My hands gripped the wheel to Alice's car with such intensity that my hands would be forever embedded into her steering wheel. But I didn't care.

"God Edward, take a chill pill!" Alice remarked.

Huh?

"A chill pill? What does that even mean?"

She shrugged.

"Nothing. I guess I've been spending too much time watching the Real World on MTV."

"By the way Alice, where did you even get that statue?" 

She laughed.

 "It was a 29th anniversary present, Jasper hired some Italian sculptor to make it. I had to pose like that for a very long time. Some anniversary."

"Oh."

She put her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry Edward, she'll be fine."  I didn't respond.

Alice's POV:

God Edward was sooo messed up over this! I mean, she just got knocked out for a little bit, it's not going to have any long lasting effects. And why does she matter so much to Edward anyways?

I froze.

Oh nooooo! I'm sounding like Jessica! Must...fight...Jessicaness!

Edward chuckled. Good, at least he feels better. At least he isn't dry sobbing.

My memory flashed to him, curled up on the floor at the house.

Edward scowled in response. 

Stupid mind reading brother. A LITTLE PRIVACY, PLEASE!

We finally got to the hospital and Edward shot through the doors like a bat out of hell, he was almost at vampire speed!

"Edward! Wait up!"

I hobbled across the parking lot, at turtle slow speed. Human speed. Joy. How rude! He could have waited for me!

When I finally got into the hospital, he was arguing politely with the nurse.

"Excuse me, but I don't care if Dr. Carlisle is performing a foot operation, I need to see him immediately."

The nurse retorted, rather impolitely 

"Well excuse me my ass! I dunno why you think you're all that, hotshot! This isn't the Queen of Sheba we're talkin' about here! You have to wait like everybody else!"

"I need...to see him." Edward said, resisting to the urge to snap her neck.

I sighed.

"Please? My brother and I need to see Dad right away." I flashed a smile, dazzling her immediately.

"Oh my goodness! You're Dr. Cullen's children? Excuse me, Nancy! Send them to Carlisle's office immediately! Hurry, quickly!"

She smiled at us, mimicking my smile.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, I hope that you don't report this...incident to Dr. Cullen." She said, nervous.

"Oh we will." I added.

As we left the lobby Edward whispered,

"How did you know?"

"Decades of experience, my brother. And you, on the other hand, put mind readers to shame."

We stopped talking immediately. My sister was at stake. Well sorta she's not exactly in mortal danger. Why does our entire family have to be at stake for one human?

NOOOOO! Why am I thinking this!!

Note to self: Kill Jessica

Bella's POV:

"Mike! Stop kissing me!"

I know Mike is my boyfriend, but when he kissed me it just didn't feel right. And plus he kept trying to shove his tongue down my throat. Why would I date such a terrible kisser?

"But baby you know you want it." Mike whined, and smashed his lips into my face again.

"I need time to think."

"Think about what?" He asked quizzically. "We're in love. I saved you from a deranged lunatic. And now we make out."

Was he _serious_??

"Mike get off of me!"

I pushed him away and ran, I don't know where I'm going but as long as I was away from _him_, I don't care!

"Bell..I mean Izzy baby come back! You know I didn't mean it!" He pleaded. But by then I was far away from him.

I was in the forest now, still running. Why would I date him? And who was this Edward character and how did Mike know he was the cause of my amnesia? I felt as if I _should _know him but...

Argh! This is too confusing!

I sat down on a rock and put my head in my hands.

_Come on Izzy, you can do this. Its okay._

But in truth it wasn't okay. I didn't know anything! And supposedly I was dating an absolute _imbecile! _What kind of a person was Izzy anyways? I feel like I don't know her enough to call her "me" yet. I'm still nobody.

The wind blew against my neck. I sighed, relaxed. It felt good to have the world taken off my shoulders for a little bit.

Suddenly I saw a shape dart through the woods, crunching leaves. I barely saw it, the thing flew by so fast.

"Hello?" I whispered.

And before I knew it, a gigantic mass of red and brown fur jumped on top of me and started licking my face, throwing me to the ground. I screamed.

**Jacob's POV**

Today was a bo-ring day. Sam had me running around the forest "guarding" even though this neck of the woods was far away from La Push. In truth, I think he just wanted to get rid of me. Bella wasn't home, Quil was with Claire, and even Embry was busy. He was having a tooth removed. 

So basically I was just running around the woods trying to block out Leah's annoying chatter in my head.

_Neh neh neh neh neh, you can't stop me!_

_SCREW YOU!_

_Nah nah nah nah nah YOU GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! CHILLIN' OUT TAKE IT SLOW, THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW!_

You see what I have to deal with every day? AND I HATE HANNAH MONTANA!

Luckily distraction has arrived. Bella was in the woods, sitting, all by herself. Normally, this would be strange behavior but if you looked "strange" up in the dictionary, you would see Bella's face. She's getting _married _to a vampire for crying out loud!

The entire pack groaned.

_Jacob I told you to not think about that!_

_Ugh, please don't start whining again, Jacob. I'm begging you._

_NOBODY'S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT!_

_**SHUT UP!**_About five of us said at once.

I grinned and decided to have a little fun with Bella. It wasn't often that I got to surprise her in wolf form. This should be fun.

I jumped on her, and she was knocked to the ground in shock. I licked her face, knowing full well she would probablly kill me for this later, but I might as well take any chance to "kiss" her while she's human.

Then she started screaming.

Why was she screaming? She's seen me in werewolf form before. I expected she would've swatted my face or something.

"Get off of me!"

I scrambled off of her, and she just stared at me, her eyes wide in horror.

Something was seriously wrong. It was a good thing my pants were behind a nearby tree. I phased back into a human, and ran back to where I saw her. She was still there.

"Bells, its me."  "I, I, I...but...you...wha...wha...wha" She stuttered.

"Geez Bella its not like you haven't seen a werewolf before, right?" I joked.

"Werewolf?" She whispered, and then she feinted.

Carlisle's POV:

Aah you gotta love the smell of disinfectant in the morning. Its strangely relaxing. I guess I love my work too much. And due to the fact that I am living with an entirely _insane _family for the rest of eternity, I learned to embrace normal. I had enough of unpredictable in my forever.

What was I doing now, you ask? Currently I was working on Mrs. Layne Petterson, who had a gland in her foot that needed to be removed.

"Nurse Lily? I need the cotton swab now please." **(OMG thats me! :D)**

"Here Doctor."  "Thank you."

I was about to cleanse her foot when the door burst open, and my two very distressed children, interrupted my procedure.

"Edward? Alice? Why are you here? I'm in the middle of surgery!" 

"It's Bella." Edward growled.

Of course. Edward was too overprotective for his own good.

"Doctor Wilson? Can you take over for me? It's an emergency." 

"Of course Doctor, it would be an honor."

I smiled. It was nice to know that someone would have the honor of working for a vampire.

**Edward's POV:**

By the time we got to the house, something was wrong. I could hear Jasper playing Wii in the background, but I couldn't hear breathing.

I couldn't even smell Bella's mouth-watering roses and freesia scent.

Sure enough, Bella wasn't in her bed. And the window was open.

There was also another smell in the yard. It was vile, disgusting, but not as bad as the smell of werewolf. Pickles and barley? It mingled unnaturally with Bella's scent, then disapeared into the woods.

One thing for sure, Bella wasn't here.

I darted into the living room and picked Jasper up by his collar.

"WHERE IS SHE??" I demanded.

"Edward! Have you gone insane??"  "WHERE'S BELLA!?"

"In her room!" He said, a little frightened now. Ha. I knew better.

"She is most definently not in her room, Jasper Whitlock! Weren't you supposed to be watching her??" I shook him violently.

"Edward! Put Jasper down, now!" Alice yelled.

I begrudgingly set his feet on the floor.

"I know Bella's important to you, she is to me too! But that doesn't mean you can go around shaking people's husbands!" Her tiny body swelled with anger, like a tiny porcupine.

"And you!" She turned to face Jasper, pointing her finger at his throat.

"Why weren't you watching Bella??"

"Because I was playing Paper Mario and I beat my high score! Aren't you proud of me Alice?" He begged.

"Shut up! Edward did you track Bella's trail?"  "Yes." I scowled. "But she went over the boundary line."

"Oh." Alice said.

Carlisle stepped forward. I almost had forgotten he was here.

"We can't break the treaty, and maybe she's with Jacob." He said.

I hoped so. For once, I wanted nothing more than for Bella to be with that disease ridden mutt. Wait can I take that back..?

**Sorry everyone, but thats all for today! Next time, we'll check in on Bella when Jacob tells her about the existence of vampires and werewolves! And will Bella finally be healed of her amnesia? What if she has another symptom of her injury? Stay tuned!**

**And now, a little scene between Emmett and Rosalie.**

**Rosalie's POV:**

"Ha! Yes! I win!" I did a little victory dance.

"No fair! You know I got dibs on that bear before you did!" My husband wailed.

"No way, I won fair and square. I hunted about twenty more bears than you did" I said, a little smug.

"How about another round?" Emmett asked.

"Fine, but prepare to lose, again!"

**Looks like SOMEONE'S having fun! I wish I could say the same for Edward and Bella! Oh well!**

**See you next time!**

**-Lil**


	6. Chapter 4: THE LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR!

And...duh duh duh duh! New chapter!

Crowd cheers

I promise that Mike will in fact be tortured in this chapter! I promised Edward, and my readers!

Edward: At long last... :)

Stephenie: Achem Remember, my characters are on loan. Would you like to pay now or pay later? 

Me: Can I at least have sole property of Alice? Please? Please? PLEASE??

Stephenie: No

Me: Writes check You're terrible...

Have fun, AND PLEASE READ MY NEW STORY, The Book Of Jane. Or I'll kill you. :)

Alice's POV:

Oh my god I can't believe that Jasper wasn't watching Bella! Just you wait Jasper, about a thousand makeovers are coming your way! Hmmm, makeovers. Fun. Torture. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

"Alice, are you okay?" Edward asked warily.

"Yes." Except for the fact that you are RUINING my evil mood! Taste the evil Edward, TASTE IT! No wait, Edward can't tell.

Taste the evil Jasper! TASTE IT!

Then I had an idea. And I can get some evil out of it too.

"Hey Edward didn't you say that Bella was with another person? We can track him!"  Edward lept to his feet.

"Thats a wonderful idea Alice!"

"And we can torture him too!" I added.

"Okay, as long as you don't kill him." He shuddered. "I remember the last time you did that..."

"Deal."

Hooray! It's torture time!

Jasper's POV:

Aaaah! The different moods in this room is just so overwhelming! Carlisle is just standing around feeling a little nervous, Edward is just plain painful, and I think Alice is planning something evil. She's cackling like a witch.

Never anger a vampire who's cackling like a witch, especially if its your wife.

Anyways, I admit it was completely my fault that Bella's missing. Paper Mario can be quite addicting. Its a good thing we have a whol stash of Wii remotes in our cupboard, being a vampire, you tend to break things a lot.

But what I can't believe is how she got all the way into wolf territory. Thats nearly 30 miles from here! Did she get a ride from somebody? Edward couldn't smell that. Either way, damn that girl can run!

"Also everyone." Carlisle said. "I'd rather stay home while you investigate. Bella may come back."

"Okay, thats fine." We said.

"Jasper Whitlock! Get you're ass over here, I'm mad at you already, so if I were you I better run pretty quick!"

Uh oh. The witch calls. Better move that ass!

Edward's POV:

We went outside and I again ran into the familiar (but faded) Bella scent, and then the weird pickle scent. After sniffing a couple times, I realized who that person was.

And I wasn't happy about it.

The next couple sentences are blocked out for the readers protection.

"Damn that womanizing who Bella needs to what is that sorry excuse for a "

"NEWTON!"

"Oh god is that who that person was?" Alice asked. "No wonder he smelled so bad." 

"Whoa, calm down Edward."

I was immediatly calm, but more or less, still angry. Alice held me back, afraid I was going to run into the woods.

_Jesus Ed, don't have a heart attack!_

Jasper was thinking of something totally unrelated.

_When I grow up I wanna be in movies, be careful what you wish for, cuz' you just might get it, you just might get it..._

What was WRONG with the world?

"Jasper? What are you doing?"  "Oh, thats how I calm someone down, by singing that song. It helps me narrow my focus."

"The Pussycat Dolls help you narrow your focus?"  "Yes."

Today proved to be the most bizzare day in my entire enternity so far.

Bella's POV:

Oh good grief, darkness again! But this time, I was actually dreaming. I was stuffed inside a jar of pickles and two boys were arguing before me. The one who claimed he was a , something, earlier, and another devishly handsome man who had the strangest eyes I've ever seen.

His eyes were yellow.

And in the corner there was this other girl, a short haired pixie resembled girl also with yellow eyes, in a cheerleaders uniform.

"Gooooo vampires! GO! GO! GO!"

Then that awful boy Mike Newton came, picked up my jar, and carried me away, laughing manically.

"What are you doing!" I yelled to the others "I'm being kidnaped! Help me!"

My efforts were futile. They couldn't even hear me inside this stupid jar!

Then Mike reached and grabbed me from the jar, and I didn't realize how big he was! He was like a giant!

I felt myself getting smaller and smaller, then younger and younger, until I was a baby.

I couldn't even talk.

I started unvoluntarilly bawling until someone snatched me from Mike's hand and dragged me higher into the air. My puny arms flailed uselessly.

The person who captured me this time had red eyes, dark and scary. He had papery skin and long flowing black hair.

I asked "Who are you?" But it came out as more of a "Oo reatk ooey?" Then I started crying again.

"I've got you now Bella." He said. He put his lips to my neck and...

Jacob's POV:

Bella didn't know I was a werewolf. She simply didn't know. The look of shock in her eyes proved that she didn't know anything, anything!

What hapened to her?

But I passed the time while she slept listening to her talk in her sleep. She made a lot of random, but funny, sentences like

"_Jacob, Edward stop fighting over the pickles..."_

"_Go Alice, go!"_

"_Get me out of this stupid jar!"_

"_Mike get off of me!_"

At this point she started bawling like a three year old and her talking suddenly aged backwards. I started laughing like an imbecile.

"_Mommy! Where's my lunchbox?"_

"_Its barbie play time..."_

"_Oo reatk ooey?"_

All of a sudden, her face contorted in fear. She screamed and flailed her legs like a fish out of water. She actually looked like she was in pain. I felt so helpless.

She screamed

"THE VOLTURI!"

And her eyes flew open.

Bella's POV:

I woke up with a start, panting. I momentarilly forgot where I was, then remembered I was in the woods. I looked at my hand, it returned to normal size, which proved I wasn't a baby anymore.

Just because I wasn't a baby didn't mean I felt like one.

I felt like the biggest coward alive. My breaths were sharp, my legs were pinned to my chest.

Then I looked into the eyes of the boy next to me.

"Aaaaaaah! Its you!" I staggered backwards, and he just smirked at me.

"Wakey, wakey Bella." He smiled.

"Wait, isn't my name Izzy?" I asked.

His brow furrowed.

"Izzy? Since when did anyone call you Izzy?"  Ah. This meant that he knew me too. He seemed relatively nicer than that Mike guy, and I felt like this other me trusted him.

"Well this may sound, strange, but I don't know who you are. I don't know who anyone in this damned world is!"

I laughed.

"And then you show up in this weirdo wolf body and attack me! I have no idea what's going on and I feel like a little kid!"

"Oh, so that would explain the talking." He started laughing hysterically.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to say menacingly.

"You don't want to know." He grinned. He liked the fact that he was annoying me.

"_What are you talking about, you...person??" _I spat out.

"Well did you know you talk in your sleep, oh wait you don't know that. Well anyways you were talking about Playtime Barbie and something like that." He cracked up.

I've never felt more mortified in all my life.

"I'm leaving!" I snapped, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to regain whatever little pride I had left.

"No wait! Come back!" The boy begged.

"Why should I?" I challenged.

"Still stubborn..." He muttered and shook his head.

"You probablly don't remember me, but I'm Jacob Black. I have a sworn life long servitude to you as of a couple weeks ago, and I'm your best friend/best man." He explained.

"Wait, best man? I'm married?" I said flabbergasted. Oh I hope I didn't marry that Mike Newton! And, me, married? I had a feeling I was a little too young to be married, plus marriage didn't really appeal to me.

"Not yet. You are, unfortunately for me, engaged."

I sighed in relief, it wasn't too late to call off the wedding. But this also meant that Jacob had feelings for me. And this other girl already knew that.

"Who's the lucky guy?" I joked. Maybe it wasn't Mike. Maybe it was someone else.

"You don't know?" Jacob looked shocked. "But you were talking about him in your dream! You said his name like ten times!" 

"Oh no! Does that mean I'm really in love with Mike Newton! Nooooo!" I sank to the ground in terror that I had horrible taste in men.

"Who the hell is Mike Newton?" Jacob demanded.

"He's my fiancee, right?" I asked, but couldn't hide my glee. If my best man didn't know who he was, then surely I wasn't marrying him. That also meant that he wasn't my boyfriend either.

"Bella where did you get that idea? And also, why all of the sudden, do you go by Izzy now?"

I sighed and started from the beginning. I woke up in a strange house, then Mike told me I was his girlfriend, then he pretty much assaulted me, so I ran all the way here, then I saw...

I stopped.

"Wait a minute! How come you aren't explaining the werewolf thing to me? Wait, huh? My best friends a frickn werewolf! I've never been more confused in my life! But I wouldn't know that because I have amnesia! Holy crow! My best friends a WEREWOLF!" I ended my rant.

Jacob looked at me, his eyes filled with grief.

"Are you scared of me Bella? Be honest."

"Huh? No! I"m just confused." I assured him.

"And you suprised me." I added.

He sighed in relief.

"So tell me. Now." I commanded.

"Are you sure Bella? Maybe we should wait a little bit."

"Jacob Black, tell me!" I practically yelled.

"Well I suppose we should begin by telling you who you're fiancee is." 

My heart fluttered.

"On September 31st, you'll be married to Edward Cullen. And he's a vampire." He added.

I fainted again.

Jacob's POV:

You could say that I am very pissed at Bella right now. She fainted, _again_! This is the girl who is attracted to vampires and werewolfs, was nearly _killed_ (I cringed at the thought) twice, and she feints!

This wasn't Bella. This was some sort of new, weak Bella. Not the Bella who begged me to ride a motorcycle with.

I wonder if she would faint at the sight of a motorcycle.

The good news was, she still had a chance to regain her memories. She remembered Edward, and even that future-seeing bloodsucker Alice, in her dreams. Her memories were probablly buried somewhere.

"_Charlie, don't put Edward in the chicken pot pie." _She murmurred.

I chuckled, and listened to her dreams.

Edward's POV:

I was very angry at the Port Angeles mall right now.

Of course Alice, on our way to torture the vile Mike Newton I might add, just _had_ to see a flyer for a arts festival at the mall. With clothes, hand made jewlrey, and purses! Yay. Sounds like fun, right?

Well I'm not Alice so Jasper and I were dragged, by force to this festival, and we even had to wait in about two hours of traffic! Alice kept thinking things like

_If there's so many people then this has to be a really major festival! I wonder if I brought enough credit cards..._

Meanwhile, Jasper was listening to the radio, and singing along silently to Elton John.

This went on for about another hour until we got there.

When we finally WERE there, I was in a sour mood.

"Bella please don't make me go in there!" I begged.

"You can do something else you know, Edward." She smiled.

"Anything." 

"Jasper you might want to try that new trick on Edward now." She smirked.

I tried reading her thoughts. All I got was God Bless America in french, which made no sense because I wasn't sure they recited God Bless America in France.

**Dieu bénisse l'Amérique,**

**Terre que j'aime.**

**À côté de son stand, et son guide**

**Grâce à la nuit avec une lumière d'en haut.**

**Depuis les montagnes, aux prairies,**

**Pour les océans, blanc avec de la mousse**

**Dieu bénisse l'Amérique!**

(ME: Sorry if it was a bad translation, correct me if I'm wrong!)

Uh oh, this was not good.

I heard Jasper's thoughts singing

_Hey hey you you! I don't like your girlfriend! Hey hey you you I think you need a new one..._

Suddenly, I felt lathergic, and for the first time in a long time, tired. But because I couldn't sleep I just felt really tired. My head fell limply to the side of the car.

I faintly saw Alice and Jasper leave me, half comatose, inside the car. It was extremely dull, I couldn't move, or speak. I could barely think long sentences, I was so exhausted.

Finally, Alice and Jasper came back, and Jasper restored my energy.

"ALICE!! What the hell was that??"

"Alice suggested it one night, I've never tried it before. It will definently come to use again one day." Jasper said.

I cursed silently under my breath.

This entire scenario took about five hours, and another hour to get back to Forks.

Bella's been gone nine hours so far.

I am so worried.

Finally, however, I was nurtured to the sound of Mike Newton, screaming, as we hung him by his underwear at the top of his roof. He was blubbering like a child.

"Where is Bella??" Alice hissed.

"Buhbuhbuhbuhbuhbella? MOMMMY!" He shrieked.

"Alice, you can torture him later. He can't talk when he's in pain." I said.

"Fine." Alice growled, and set him to his feet.

"Where is she? We know you were with her!"

"I could report this to the cops you know!" He exlaimed.

Alice smiled.

"No one will believe you."

_Oh yes they will! The Cullen's are gonna geeeeet it!_

Stupid Mike.

"Do you want us to do it again?" I asked.

"No! NO! Anything but that!" He pleaded.

"Tell me where is Bella and we won't hurt you." I said.

"Fine! I'll tell you!" He smirked. But I already heard what he was going to say before he said it.

_Bella has amnesia, she was stumbling around in the woods when I found her. I told her I was her boyfriend, and she was happy to believe me. We even tried to do it in the woods. But then she had to get some things for it, because I'm a gentleman, and drove off. She's going to meet me here soon._ He added smugly_._

I fell to the ground in despair. Bella doesn't remember me, and she thinks she loves Mike! I don't believe she did anything with him, but I could tell that Mike definently told her that he was her boyfriend.

She didn't love me anymore.

"Alice!" I called. "Give Mike the worse torture you can imagine!"

"Yes sir!" She said, a little too happilly, and we heard his shrieks as me and Jasper ran into the woods.

How could anyone stoop so low? Oh wait, he was simply vile. And he left me heartbroken, without the love of my life.

"We're on a rescue mission Jasper." I said, and we ran back to the house, in hopes that Carlisle knows what we are up against.

**I am very proud of this chapter! I LOVE it! And here is a detailed list of the things Alice did to Mike.**

**Dyed his hair pink**

**Destroyed his room**

**Shaved his legs**

**Stuffed him in a pink bikini**

**Took him to the mall, in his attire**

**She took pictures of him, and sold them to who knows who**

**Gave him another "ultimate wedgie"**

**Brought him to Alice's good friend, Lily, to have his two front teeth removed**

**Exc. Exc.**

_**See you next time!**_

_**-Lil**_


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter Five!

Last time in Alice's Closet, Bella and Jacob had a little talk and she uncovered some clues of her life. Edward and Alice hunted down Mike, and Alice had a fun time torturing the mere human. Meanwhile Jasper figured out a new element to his power, he can make any vampire feel "tired" and put them into a coma-like state! :)

**A LITTLE TEASER:**

So here comes chappie five, the chapter that will put all of these relationships to the test! Will Bella finally unlock her memories? Will Edward and Bella finally meet, in person? What will Mike do to make Bella love him? And why is Emmett in a Chicken Suit?

Find out, later tonight! :D

Yeah yeah I'm totally evil, I have the chapter done, but I'm going to make all of you wait because I have to do my homework. My best friend Jane gave me this fabulous idea.

Jane: It was taught during my Masters education in torture! Aro made me take it, and then I killed the professor after the first semester! 

ME: Why?

Jane: Because he only gave me an A. I sooo deserve an A plus!

ME: Do you think the infamous Volturi might show up in the next chapter?

Jane: They just might Lily, they just might.

ME: And remember to tune in later tonight! 

Jane: Or we'll find you!

ME: Bwhahahahahahah! Oh and one more thing, stay tuned for the next chapters of **Dare, or Punishment **and **The Book Of Jane.**

Jane: And coming up soon, will be **The Institution.**

ME: Following a world where the government BANNED Twilight! **Le gasp! **And all teenagers who are obsessed with it must go to The Institution to be cured of their obsession!

Jane: But what will happen when a group of girls decide to revolt...

ME: By traveling to Forks to seek supernatural help...

Jane: And to find proof that Twilight isn't _just_ a work of fiction? 

ME: Thanks for reading this little chapter, and stay tuned for the newest chapter tonight!

Jane: MWAHAHAHAHA!

ME: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

**Both Together: AND IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER TO CHECK IN...**

Jane: I'll torture you!

Alice: I'll hold you hostage!

ME: And I'll...ummm...I'm not good at this torture stuff! Oh wait, I've got one! I'LL END THE STORY IF I DON'T GET ENOUGH REVIEWS!

ME: Bye bye everyone! :D

And remember, being evil is fun!


	8. Chapter Five! WOOOHOOH! :D

Chapter FIVE! (Yes this is the real chapter)

Dearest Readers,

I am so very sorry for not updating. I had a lot of homework this week, and it needed to be done. I promise Jane has been torturing me at least a thousand times! 

OW! Dang it...

Make that 1001

And I am pleased to announce my new friend, JRK who I kidnapped earlier with Jane.

JRK: Hi people!!

Lily: OMG hi!

Jane: OMG START THE STORY!! :(

Lily: Geez ruin our fun much Jane? Alright I'll start, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (sob), Craigslist, YouTube, Elmo, Barney, the Pussycat Dolls, Victoria's Secret, or America's Next Top Model. Sorry! :)

**Edward's POV:**

If I could kill mike Newton right now, I most definently would.

How dare he toy with Bella's fragile emotions? And while she had Amnesia? How low can someone go? WHERE WAS THE JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD?

_Emo, emo, emo! We all love being emo!_

"Jasper, please I beg you, stop singing!!"

_Darn it Edward, why must you always ruin my fun?_

We were close to the house by now, I was in enough proximity to hear Carlisle's thoughts.

_Oh I wish Edward would come home soon! I haven't been away from a hospital this long in more than a decade! I'm so sick and tired of organizing my Medicine Cabinet by color!_

_Lets see, the morphine should be placed next to the Advil and the Clariten and then..._

"Carlisle? We're here."

"Edward! Finally! Did you find Bella?"

"Not exactly..."

Jasper and I filled him in on the situation, Carlisle scribbled notes on his Memo Pad.

"Boys, Bella should be close by. An amnesiac person can only go so far. But you might notice some...changes in Bella."

"What changes?" I demanded my voice rising.

"Well she might be a little, slow. She also might have changes in personalities, feelings, or emotions. Either way, until she recovers her lost memories, she might be a totally different person. Of course, you don't want to shock her, that will delay the process. So don't mention the vampires just yet."  "Thank you Carlisle."

"Best of luck Edward, Jasper." He nodded. "Can I go back to work now?"  "No! We might need you!" I begged.

_Darn it Edward! Why must you do this to me?_

"Of course, Edward. Anything you say." He smiled falsely.

"And actually Edward? Can I stay here? This really should be between you and Bella..."  "No! I need you too! And don't try that coma thing on me again!" I was on the verge of screaming.

"Coma thing?" Carlisle's eyebrows rose.

"No time for that! Let's go Jasper!"

Jasper muttered something unintelligible and we lept into the woods.

**Alice's POV**

"Ah Mikey, Mikey, why must you be so jumpy?" I sang.

"No! No! Not my hair! My gorgeous beautiful -better than Edward's- hair!" 

"What did you say?" I growled.

"Nothing! Ow why does my scalp hurt?" He whined. Geez this boy is such a whiner. No wonder Edward hates him, I can only imagine what his thoughts are like!

"Thats just the pink dye working its way in, Mikey." I mocked him.  "What did I do to deserve this?" He whined. "Why are you torturing me like this?" 

"Think about that the next time you manipulate my sister, Mikey dearest."

Then the scene changed. It shifted and shaped, a fog draped over my eyelids.

I was in a forest. The never ending greenery swelled and thrived, trees reaching their branches into the sun. I saw a girl sitting on a moss rock, her eyes were wide.

_Its Bella!_ I thought

A man, my brother, brought his hand to Bella's face. She smiled, a little bit, at the touch and Edward spoke.

"I will never leave you."

Then the scene evaporated and I returned to Mike's household, his annoying voice penetrating the atmosphere.

"Oi! Alice this burns! It burns! It burns! IT BURNS!' He cried.

"Oh Mikey, you have no idea how much this will burn." I smiled and smothered another helping of Instant Dye into his head.

**Edward's POV:**

I ran through the forest, swinging from tree to tree. Jasper's thoughts were nervous.

_Edward, what about the treaty?_

"Screw the treaty." I snarled. It was a very long two days. I was tired of this! I just wanted my Bella back!

And then it hit me. The beautiful smell of freesia, a smell I knew all too well. I could hear a faint heartbeat, blood pulsing through her system.

Bella! Bella! My Bella!

_Whoa Edward calm down! Uh, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it, you just my get it. When I grow up I wanna be in movies, I wanna be in movies._

Despite Jasper's efforts, I didn't calm. Love conquered any vampire ability, I thought smugly. But it might have been due to the fact that he messed up the lyrics.

Then another smell hit me. A terrible smell, a skin crawling, stomach churning, smell that burned my nose. Curse my over defined senses!

And damn it! Jacob Black got to her first! She might be in danger!

I ran with the speed of a thousand men, Jasper trailing behind trying to catch up. The irony was that they were in my meadow. Our meadow.

I saw her face, her gorgeous face, shock mingled on all her features.

"Bella!"

I ran to her, the one I loved. I hoped that her amnesia didn't change that.

**Bella's POV:**

As soon as he said my name, I knew he was mine. My Edward. The one that haunted my dreams since I first fainted. My fiancee, my love.

My vampire.

His kiss was so powerful, my pulse quickened and I more or less hyperventilated.

"Oh Bella, I missed you so much!"

Over his shoulder, I saw another man, one I've never seen before, not even in my dreams. He was blonde and resembled a movie actor, inhumanly gorgeous, both of them.

"Edward..." I purred, trying to appear somewhat seductive. I had very little self esteem left and I wanted to appear somewhat attractive to my husband. But, he was so...divine! How could this "Other me" have this God fall in love with, me! A human! A human and a god? It made no sense.

"Bloodsucker!" I flinched. I completely forgot Jacob was here. Did werewolves dislike vampires?

"Hello, dog." Edward growled, and for the first time since our reunion, he let go of me. I fell to the ground in shock, from the kiss. My eyes widened as the two circled each other preparing to fight.

_Preparing, to fight? _I thought dubiously, it took a full minute for me to react.

"No! Stop it! Both of you!" I screamed. "Please, please don't fight!"

My efforts were futile, they were already yelling at each other. The seconds passed as I watched, amazed and terrified, at their words.

"Why didn't you tell me mutt? I've been looking for her for days, and you led her across the boundary line! So she couldn't be with us, right? Who knows the lies you've been telling her!"

Jacob spat on the ground.

"Lies? I didn't lie to her once! You reeking monster! She's safer with me than you, and we both know it! Where were you when she fell?"

He cringed.

"Thats it Bella! We're going!"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

"No! Bella _will_ stay with me!" Jacob screamed, he hunched over, prepared to turn into a wolf and then...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! I AM THE BARNEY BELLA NAPPER!"

Two more vampires, appeared in a clearing. A blonde, smiling in victory and another bigger, muscular vampire in... a barney suit?? He grabbed me, screaming, and both of them lept into the woods, leaving Jacob and Edward behind. The wind blew in my face, scalding me.

The blonde snickered.

"Hey Bella! Don't worry I'll explain later."

All of our minds were thinking one thing.

_What the hell??_

**Jacob's POV**

I was supposed to be the one to bring Bella home! Maybe then she would fall in love with me! But nooooo that BLOODSUCKER had to show up! And if he was just a little bit closer, he'd be over the boundary line, and I'd have an excuse to kill him.

But Bella and I were exactly three feet from the boundary line when he showed up.

Stupid me! Stupid me! Stupid me!

_Yah, stupid you. _Leah agreed

_Shut up!_

_Oh I'm sorry, stupid people can't talk._

_You are soo immature._

_BLahahahbehbehebehehbBlehBlehBleh! _

Damn the world!  And then right when I was about to kill him, some** BARNEY VAMPIRE SHOWS UP!** Of all the luck and pure randomness!

Bella was screaming, and then the...thing picked her up, then jumped into the woods like nobody's business!

Meanwhile, that bloodsucker fell to the ground.

I didn't know this was possible, but he was shaking from head to toe. He was even _talking _to himself!

I burst out laughing until the other blonde vampire glared at me.

"Sorry, you have to admit thats funny! Can't vampire's laugh?"

He closed his eyes and concentrated on me. I felt myself becoming woozy and dizzy, and I too, fell. The last thing I saw before I became unconcious was the blonde dragging Edward's shaking body into the woods...

**Emmett's POV:**

Who knew being in this stupid, overstuffed, suit could be so entertaining?

Well, earlier, I lost to Rosalie (She cheated, I swear!) and she hunted about thirty more animals than me. As punishment, she made me wear this Barney Suit.

She knows how I have issues with Barney. Ever since I saw Barney beating up poor Elmo in that YouTube video...

Shudder. I've seen some crazy things in the last couple decades (Mostly Bella) but that video takes the cake.

But it was Edward that was the most scared, of any of us. Man that was one rough week, everyone was so nervous. Alice went away shopping twenty four hours a day, and Esme was always nervous. Rose and I didn't even sleep together for a week! But Edward?

He locked himself in his room and didn't come out for a full week, until finally, he had to hunt.

So the original plan was to freak out Edward, until we saw Bella

Well anyways we were walking along the edge of the woods (We usually steer clear, werewolves you know) talking about random things, and then we smelled Bella.

Rosalie grinned manically, (Not as manic as Alice, but still scary), and she suggested we kidnap Bella, that would definently make Edward pee in his pants, if he could. Finally! He isn't "Mister perfect." and now Bella can see that.

We peeked through the trees and saw Jasper, Bella, Edward, and that werewolf Bella always hangs out with. Jack? Jamie? I think it was Jack, or something.

Edward and Jack were circling each other, and I made a mental note to thank Jack because he is so preoccupied by his fury he wouldn't hear me and Rose. Hopefully.

Jasper was just waving his arms up and down, eyes shut, saying "Whoa! Whoa!" Probablly trying to calm them down. Ha. Good luck Jas. No vampire can stay calm around a werewolf.

Bella was just sitting on the ground, crumpled almost, her eyes flitting back and forth between Edward and Jack. She probablly fell, I wish I was here to see it! Bella was a constant source of entertainment, for a human. She was better than those shows on MTV where all those girls bitch-slap each other.

"Do you remember the plan?" Rose asked.

"I'm not that dumb." I punched her playfully.

"5,4,3...2...and one!" She counted.

"BWAHHAHAHAHAH! I AM THE BARNEY BELLA NAPPER!"

I cut through the clearing, Edward and Jack quickly dodging me. I scooped Bella in my arms, her eyes as wide as saucers, and leapt through the woods.

She was screaming the entire time, and Rose laughed. Ah Rose. I loved her laugh.

"Put her in the car!"

We dragged Bella, still screaming, and tossed her in the car. I heard a crunching noise and then Bella's breathing stopped.

"Rosalie? What did you _do!?_"

"Oops, I think I kinda flung her into the car too far. Her head hit the side of the car."

We looked at Bella, who was unconcious on the floor of the car. Her breathing picked up again, and her pulse quickened, but she was still unconcious.

"Oh well, lets go home. She'll probablly just have a big lump on her head."

Rosalie kissed my cheek, then we climbed into the car, with Bella "sleeping" on the floor of my Jeep.

**Carlisle's POV**

In all my life I have never been this bored.

Chained to the confines of the house, under Edward's eye and Alice's ability, they would know if I left. I did everything I could think of, I made a stack of cards, I watched _The Sound Of Music, _I re read all my books, I even called Jane and talked to her! (It didn't go well)

I wish I could be at work, or with Esme. My two most favorite things in the world. But noooo. I was stuck HERE while Edward went to find Bella!

Then I heard Emmett and Rosalie coming through the door.

"Hello! Anyone home? Carlisle?"

"Yeah we found Bella."

I couldn't believe it! EMMETT found Bella before Edward did? Something must've happened. I hope they didn't cross the boundary line.

To my horror, I saw Emmett in a barney suit, dragging an unconcious Bella by her shirt, with Rosalie trailing behind.

"Emmett? What do you think you're doing?"

"Well you see, Bella kinda had a little accident, and she's uhhh sleeping?"

I slapped myself in the forehead.

"Emmett! She was already unconcious _before! _Last time I heard, she had amnesia!"

"Really?" Rosalie piped up.

"Yes!! She _already _has enough damage to her brain! Who knows what you could've done to her now?" 

"Done what?" Emmett asked.

"Just...just put her on the couch." 

"Sure thing, Carlie."

Carlie? _CARLIE?_ One thing's for sure, I think I am the only sane one in this family.

**Alice's POV:**

Snap. Snap.

Currently, I was photographing Mike in a hot pink bikini at the mall. All part of my various torture methods. He had pink hair, two missing front teeth, a manicure, various pizzas in his house, I threw out all his stuff, and put him on a perverted dating website.

But seeing him so embarrassed at the mall really made my day. I would have to apologize to Rosalie, it was her swimsuit. She got it from Victoria's Secret, but it was too big for her. In fact, it looked a little too big for Mike.

Then my vision changed. I no longer was at the Forks Mall, I was somewhere else. The future.

The scene fogged and changed. I was in a small, dark room. Bella was sitting on he floor...coloring?

A voice said "Stay here. Uncle has some business to take care of."

Bella smiled.   "Okay."

Then I was back to the present.

What the...?

"Alice! _Alice! _I think this bathing suit is too..."

Then, in front of all these people, the bottom to Mike's swimsuit fell off.

I think I am scarred for life.

**Alright thats all! I hope this chapter was long enough for you, again I'm sorry for not updating. Here is a quick recap of what everyone's up to.**

Bella: Unconcious, symptoms unknown

Edward: Terrified, and twitching on the floor of the woods

Alice: Scarred for life, worrying about Bella

Jasper: Waiting for Edward to snap out of it

Carlisle: So bored he is dry sobbing in the kitchen

Esme: Visiting the Denali Clan in Alaska

Emmett: Watching America's Next Top Model on the couch

Rosalie: Cuddling with Emmett

Jacob: Sleeping

Mike: Embarrassed, hiding behind a fake plant

**Also, unfortunately, there is no "Elmo Kills Barney" video. Well not one that would scare a family full of vampires. If you want to try and make one, be my guest!**

**Tune in soon!**

**-Lil**


	9. Chapter 6

Chapter Six!

OMG it's chapter six! I'm on a roll! :D

This story may be on hiatus, I have not reached a conclusion yet. I want to continue The Book Of Jane, and my new story The Institution. For opinions to help me with my decision, please pm me. AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! I didn't get a lot of reviews last time, which made me sad (

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

And what was that last part? Oh right, I don't own Twilight.

**Miss Meyer: Hell yeah you don't!**

ME: How come you're so mean??

**Miss Meyer: Because you're annoying**

ME: Sniff Am not...

Alright, lets get it started in here!

--

**Emmett's POV:**

_Wanna be on top?_

The theme song to "Americas Next Top Model" blared from the speakers. Tyra's face filled the screen, her brown h

"Why do the humans think Tyra's so pretty? Its obvious she had plastic surgery a couple times." Rosalie complained, then snuggled into my shoulder, her arms wrapped around my neck.

"You'll always be my Tyra, Rosie."

Rosalie kissed me on the cheek, then growled playfully.

Meanwhile, Bella stirred on the comforter next to ours. She muttered something, then drifted back into slumber.

"Edward's won't be very happy with us." Rosalie pointed out.

"We brought her home, didn't we?"

As if on cue, the door opened and Jasper waltzed in, pulling a traumatized Edward by the cuff of his shirt.

"Jasper! Why are you pulling Edward by his shirt? Put him down now!" Carlisle snapped.

Wow, he must be in a really bad mood. I don't think he's ever been this mad for, a century or two? Usually he's annoyingly calm.

Carlisle carried Edward into the room and set him down next to Bella. As soon as he saw her, he sighed in relief.

"Oh good, she's okay. No thanks to you Rosalie." He added.

"You're not mad at us?" She asked in shock.

"No, I'm just glad Bella's with us and not with that dog." He sighed.

Poor Edward. I remember when he had to "leave" Bella a while ago. He almost seemed that sad, but not really. I wonder what would happen if Rosalie had amnesia?

Bella stirred again. She yawned and began to rub her eyes...

**Bella's POV:**

I was back in my strange dream world again. But this time, it was different. I was in the woods, it was completely dark out. I couldn't see anything! This thought panicked me and I was running, slowly, but running all the same. The wind cracked the twisting leaves behind me, blocking my vision. In the distance I saw a girl, white and pale, with long flowing brown hair and eyes. Who was she?

She smiled and lunged at me.

I screamed but no one could hear. Instinctively, I put my hands in front of my face to protect myself, but they did no good and were soon pulled from my face. I looked into her eyes and then a familiar wave crushed me into the black norm.

**Edward's POV:  **My Bella! She was finally awake!

"Mmmm..." She muttered. I remembered that she hasn't talked in her sleep for the duration she was unconcious. That was strange.

"Edward..." She groaned. My dead heart skipped a beat, and I held her fragile body.

Being with Bella was like being with a feather. Such a fragile thing that could disappear easily by a gust of wind. It was my sworn duty to protect her.

"Yes my Bella?"

"I remember now. Everything."

_Sorry for the short chapter. It was more of a filler but I am suffering sever writers block. Please pm me for advice on how to go through the story? Thanks for being patient!_

_-LIl_


	10. Questions and Answers

Question and Answers

I apologize for the short and largely unedited chapter. I promise I will never write a new chapter at 11:00 without listening to Viva La Vida by Coldplay again! I received several questions, and here are the answers to them.

**What's up with Alice's vision?**

Alice's vision was set in the "far" future. Her visions could happen in seconds, minutes, days, or weeks. This vision could happen in a couple days. As for what it means, you will have to wait and see )

**Does she really remember or is Bella still dreaming?**

Great question! In Bella's dream the "other girl" is actually Bella before her amnesia. The Bella she isn't sure she "is" yet. When they collided Bella recalled all of her memories. I apologize for not clarifying this in depth.

**Isn't this a little sudden?**

This will also be explained. )

**Wait, where's Charlie in all of this? And how come they aren't in school?**

Charlie is on vacation currently and he thinks Bella is staying with the Cullen's. They are also ditching school. Aren't they naughty? )

**Where does the story go from here?**

SURPRISE! This is secretly the NEWEST CHAPTER! Chapter Seven is up! I assure you this chapter has several plot twists and a lot will be explained.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, I AM NOT WORTHY! I AM NOT WORTHY!**

**Alice's POV:**

"_Edward, I remember. Everything."_

Wow. That was fast.

I'm glad Bella is remembering though. I wonder if Edward still wants me to torture Mike Newton...?

"ALICE! I can't take anymore of this polka dancing!"

I laughed manically and hit Mike hard with my whip.

"Dance Newton! Dance!"

The boy danced harder, sweat pouring off of his face. His face looked even more like a tomato than usual when I tortured him. Then he collapsed to the floor.

I just stared at him for a couple seconds. I poked him, but he was still unresponsive.

"Oh well, I guess I can go home now."

**Edward's POV:**

"Oh Bella!"

My angel knows who I am now! I'm so happy! Finally things can get back to normal! We embraced, and her blood rushed into her cheeks. My throat screamed in agony, but I was too happy at the moment, and ignored it.

"Wow, that was quick. You're very lucky Bella." Carlisle commented.

"Thanks Carlisle." She smiled, and curled into my shoulder.

"I missed you." I said.

"Me too, Edward! Oh thats right! I still have to plan revenge against Alice! Are you still going to help me?" She asked.

"No more revenge schemes until you're changed."

"Hmph." She pouted. Bella was so cute when she didn't get her way. My stubborn little angel. I hugged her again, and the burning in my throat intensified. I was sure my eyes were black now. I sighed and pulled away.

"What is it?"

"I'm so sorry Bella, but I need to hunt." I apologized.

"Oh. I'm sorry." She said quickly, and sat on the other side of the couch.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I will be back soon my love. Please, don't get into any trouble."

"I won't." She promised.

As I walked to the door I heard Bella's lovely voice again.

"And Edward?" 

I turned around.

 "Yes?"  "I will never love anyone else the way I love you."

Oh Bella, you have no idea.

"Thank you." I said, and left to hunt.

**Bella's POV:**

I was sad Edward left when I had just recovered from my amnesia, but he had spent about three days now looking for me! I could never be more grateful for that.

Emmett grinned.

"It's great to see you when you're not screaming or unconcious Bella."

I felt the heat rush into my cheeks.

"Gee thanks Emmett! And why did you kidnap me in a Barney Suit anyways?" I demanded.

Rosalie and Emmett looked at each other, as if they were sharing an inside joke.

"Long story." They both said at once, and resumed watching America's Next Top Model.

Soon, the door opened. Alice was home.

"Bella!" She shrieked and hugged me.

"Oh my god I missed you so much! I'm sooo sorry about the whole dress thing!"

"Oh its okay Alice." I assured her.

She looked at me up and down.

"Your clothes have mud all over it." She pointed out.

"I've been in the woods for a while, Alice." Oh god she cannot even think of doing this...

"You need to get new clothes Bella." Alice grinned.

"Oh please Alice! Not right now!" I begged.

Alice stepped forward, as if she were about to attack. Emmett and Rosalie were no longer watching Tyra, all eyes were on me.

"Let me make this clear to you Bella. You will go shopping with me." She said.

Suddenly in the back of my head, a trigger was set off in my brain. My body shivered a second before I responded.

 "Okay."

Alice's eyes widened in shock. Emmett and Rosalie masked the same emotion.

"Really are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes I am sure. Lets go shopping." I had no idea why I was saying this! It was as if she was...controlling me or something.

Soon Alice ran out of the room.

"CARLISLE!"

**Carlisle's POV:**

I heard Alice call my name and immediately I ran into the living room. Finally! Something to do!

"What is it Alice?"

"Bella wants to go shopping with me!" Alice waved her hands, as if she were making a point.

"So?" I asked.

"Bella hate's shopping!" Alice said again, with more urgency.

I looked at Bella. She appeared almost normal, but her eyes were blank and expressionless. Strange.

"Is that true Bella?"

"Carlisle, I want to go shopping with Alice." She said, completely without emotion. Something was clearly wrong.

 "Bella will you come to my office please?"

Her entire body shivered, and she looked at me with that same deadpan expression.

"Yes, Carlisle."

We sat down, and I put my hands together. But before we started, I had to get her out of that weird trance. It was creeping me out.

"You don't have to do what Alice says Bella." I instructed, as a test. To my horror, her body shivered again, and her expression became normal again.

She looked at me, her eyes filled with fear.

"Carlisle...what's going on?" 

**Bella's POV:**

I waited for Carlisle's response. He cleared his throat and stared at me, clearly uncomtorfable.

"Bella, will you tell me why you were unconcious when Emmett dragged you into the house? Do you remember?"

I racked my thoughts. The memory was a little hazy but I knew.

"Rosalie threw me into the car and my head hit the car door."

He shook his head.

"Bella I'm afraid you have a new symptom."

"What?" I practically yelled. "But I remember everything!"

"I know Bella, but when you were thrown into the car, you were injured in the part of the brain that controls your will power."

There was an eerie silence before I spoke.

"So, let me get this straight. If someone tells me to do something, I have to do it?" 

 "Precisely." Carlisle answered.

"Lucky me."

**Sorry but that's all for today! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, although it wasn't as funny as usual. Here is an update on all the characters!**

Bella: Slightly shocked

Edward: Drinking the blood of a antelope (What? No mountain lion?)

Alice: Eavesdropping, upset that she lost the opportunity to shop with Bella

Jasper: Listening to Britney Spears, oblivious to the current situation.

Rosalie: Watching America's Next Top Model, trying to ignore Carlisle and Bella

Emmett: Eavesdropping, laughing his head off

Carlisle: Worrying about Bella

Esme: Hunting with the Denali Clan

Jacob: Still sleeping

Mike: ...Scheming?

Charlie: Fishing

The Volturi: ...Scheming?

**Stay tuned for the next chapter! :D**


	11. Updates! Updates!

**Updates! Updates! **

Sorry but this is not a new chapter, its just a page for story updates! )

**Alice's Closet** will be updated in a couple days. So far in the story Bella has a new symptom (A huge thanks to my top regular **Emolicious Angel **who has reviewed through the entire story! Hugs for everyone else who reviewed as well!)

**The Book Of Jane** will be updated today! HOORAY! D

**Dare or Punishmen**t may be put on hiatus, please message me for your opinion on this!

I also wrote a new story **The Third Candidate **where Alice runs for president along with Obama and Mccain! I didn't get a lot of reviews for it, and since this is my most popular story...now you know! D** Hilarity is a guarantee!**

I am half way finished with **The Institution **which will enter FanFiction as a completed story!

Thanks for checking out my updates page, and thank you so much for reading**!**

**EDWARD FANS UNITE!**

And now for a little random chit chat with my good friends Alice, and Jane!

Crowd cheers

ME: So guys what's up

Jane: Nothing much surfing Fan Fiction, torturing random vampires, the usual.

Alice: I'm planning a party for Bella! (Thunder booms in the distance)

ME: I feel extremely sorry for Bella, but I love parties! Do I get an invite?

Alice: Of course!

Jane: What about me?

Alice: Ummm, look Aro!

Jane: WHERE!?

Alice: Runs away

ME: Noooo Alice come back!

Jane: Hmph thats rude

Alice: Runs back in carrying Edward Here! He's my replacement! Bye! Runs away again

Edward: Hello

ME: Humna humna humna humna

Crowd swoons

Edward: Are you going to do that every time I talk to you?

ME: Yes.

Jane: I don't understand his appeal myself, he's not that attractive.

ME: Shock Oh no you didn't!

Fangirl: Bite me!

Jane: Grins

Fangirl: Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Rolls around on floor in pain

ME: Jane! What did I tell you?

Jane: Grumbles Torturing is rude and wrong...

ME: Good girl.

Edward: Wow. How long have you two been friends?  Crowd: Sighs while Edward speaks

Edward: WILL YOU STOP SIGHING??

Fangirl2: Oh my god! He's losing his temper! That's so sexy!

Fangirl3: I wish I were Bella...

Jane: Actually Lil, I gotta go, I have an "appointment" with a misbehaving vampire.

Edward: Me too, but I have a date with my Bella.

ME: Oh okay! Have fun!

Both: Bye

CROWD: NOOO! EDAWRD DON'T LEAVE!

ME: Calm down people!

Fangirl4: Nooo! He like left me broken hearted

Fanguy: I wanted to kiss Jane goodbye

Fangirl5: Sigh.

ME: Okaaay...

Fangirl: Wait don't you know Edward's cell phone number?

Crowd waits in anticipation

ME: Steps back Um, maybe...

Crowd: Get her! 

ME: AAH! WELL THATS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY, BYE! Runs away TUNE INTO UPDATES SOON!


	12. Chapter Eight, Right?

Chapter Eight! 

**Wowee I'm sorry I haven't updated! I've been really busy with school but we have a long weekend now so I will be updating a whole lot more! So lets keep on reading shall we?**

Stephenie: And...?

ME: Mutters I don't own Twilight...

Stephenie: What?

ME: DAMMIT I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! Breaks down sobbing

**Bella's POV:**

Why did everything awful or terrible or just plain weird have to happen to me? I mean seriously what did I _do_? My best friends are something of the mythological realm, my ex-best human friend tried to make me go out with him while I had _amnesia _no less! And now I have no self control over any of my decisions. This. Is. Not. FAIR!

"So Carlisle? What am I supposed to do about this?"

He shrugged. A bad sign.

 "Sorry Bella I really don't know."

"I guess I'll go shopping with Alice, I don't have a choice do I?"

"No you don't." Alice smirked as she walked into Carlisle's office.

I tried begging. "Alice, please! This is really cruel you know."

"Bella you are going shopping with me."

And with that my mind went blank and my entire life was in the hands of Alice Cullen. Not good.

"Come on Bella! Lets go!"

My legs jolted from underneath me, and before I ran out of the room with Alice I saw a glimpse of Carlisle, giving me an apologetic smile.

--

"Yay! We're here!"

Alice pulled her car into the mall parking lot. She had been chattering the entire drive, but I was too busy finding loop holes and shooting glares at her to pay attention to the conversation.

She sighed.

"Bella this is probablly the only chance you will ever somewhat willingly go shopping with me, and I just wanted to go to one specific store. Please?"  "One store." I echoed, making sure that my voice was devoid of emotion. Of course, it may have sounded empty anyways what with the partial mind control, but who cares? Today, I was just "along for the ride".

"You'll have fun! Who knows? You may discover today that you absolutely love shopping and when you are changed you can come with me to the Mark Jacob's fashion show!"

"Yeah sure. Whatever."

Alice hopped out of the car and grabbed my hand.

"So how about we go to the Stephenie's Bridal first? You'll love Stephenie! She's an old friend of mine, and she's also a writer. She wrote this awesome book _The Host_ I should lend it to you sometime..."

"Wait." I stopped her. "We're going wedding shopping?"

Alice smiled. "Yeah, duh! It would be mean if I made you go to all my favorite stores if you actually didn't want to. I would _love _it, but you would hate me for it. And this bridal stuff _needs_ to get done! We only have about three weeks until the wedding? Do you realize that Bella?"

"Thanks Alice." I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I wouldn't have to try on high heels or anything if we were only dress shopping.

-Five Hours Later-

Yeah, I wish.

It was hard enough for Alice to control her "impulses" as she called it, and eventually she ended up "mind controlling" me anyways, despite of what she told me in the car. But I had to hand it to her, she had a lot of restraint in the first three hours, so I should probablly take it with a grain of salt. But then again, I tripped in front of Jessica and Lauren trying on these _ridiculous _high heels, so I'm still pretty pissed.

Alice didn't try talking to me in the car. Sweat beads started to appear on my forehead, the silence was uncomfortable for me. I let the quiet surround me for a second before I groaned.

"Fine you win!"

Alice smiled a short smirk of victory and laughed. It sounded like bells chiming.

"In my experience with humans, I've learned humans dislike silence. It's a physical impulse."

I glared and pressed my fingers into the car wheel, before thinking of a perfectly brilliant, evil plan. And she would have to do it. To ease her guilty conscience

"I'll forgive you."

Alice's eyes went blank before she gasped.

"I guess you figured out my condition, huh? Well _you _have to tell Edward about what's wrong with my head!" I managed to let out before bursting into manic laughter.

**Edward's POV:**

My Bella sense is tingling. I finished off a mountain lion before calling her cell phone. I should be going home soon anyways, I should be punished for leaving Bella after her miraculous relapse. But I'm already dead so punishment wouldn't really work for me. I smiled and pulled out my phone, ready to hear my sweet Bella's voice.

**Alice's POV:**

How could Bella do this to me? I didn't have the heart to mind wash her. Besides, when she was semi conscience she had this freaky zombie expression.

I glared furiously at her shaking figure, which was almost keeling over of laughter. My glares had no affect on her. I grabbed the wheel before she ran us over a cliff and screamed

"Stop laughing! Now Bella!"

Immediately she halted her laughter, and straightened her shoulders.

"Drive." I commanded, and her hands gripped the steering wheel, her eyes were on the road in front of her. Damn. That is just too creepy.

And then the phone rang. Bella didn't reach it, so I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Of all the rotten luck.

"If it's Edward you have to pick it up." She taunted, but never looked away from the dash board.

I hesitantly clicked the flashing telephone sign and braced myself for the worst. I searched the future, looking for my demise, but I saw myself playing checkers with Jasper in a couple hours. Then the vision suddenly changed and I was stuck in the wall of the family room, my body glued to the plaque surrounding the wood. Not good.

"Hello?" I said. I could almost feel my voice shake, even though I knew it was impossible.

"Alice? Where is Bella?" He demanded, his voice menacing.

"She's driving, and she can't talk right now." I glanced at Bella, who was still staring at the road without any hesitation. Her face was beet red, so I suppose she was still trying very hard not to laugh.

"Driving? I thought she was supposed to stay home. She is probablly extremely exhausted, that was a very careless decision Alice." What. The. F?? He was lecturing me _already??_

"Actually, Bella isn't well at all." This sentence would amuse Bella. I might as well make it theatrical.

"What do you mean Alice? Is she hurt?" His voice was filled with anger, a volcano about to explode.

"She's fine physically. But not so much mentally?"

"I don't understand." Edward's voice was choking on despair. I somewhat pitied him, but hey, it wasn't part of the deal to save Edward's feelings.

"You know when Emmett threw her in the car? Well she damaged the part of her brain that controls her will power. And now she's a zombie." Bella's eyes widened at this statement, and she gripped the wheel tighter.

"No! No! NO!" Edward roared and hung up. Finally Bella spoke.

"Oh god he's going to destroy the house."

I looked for the future again. What I saw shocked me to the very core. I saw...Jane. With Bella. Holding her by her neck...with a pink haired boy that I know all too well.

"Quick! Bella! We need to go home! NOW! Drive as fast as you can!" Her eyes grew dead pan again, before she floored the gas.

**Mike's POV:**

I woke up in a daze. What had happened? Then I remembered...when my hair was dyed pink, my front teeth removed, all the horrible, horrible things that Pixie Girl did to me.

"Noooo!" I pounded my fists into the ground, and sobbed. My hair! My glorious beautiful hair was now **PINK!** Bella will never love me now!

Alice...she will pay!

"Hello boy."

I stepped back, and saw a pale little girl in a black cloak, grinning at me. She was hot. Probablly too young for me. Oh well.

"Hey girlie. What do you need?"

"I need your assistance."

"With what?" I leaned forward. Maybe she thought pink hair was sexy.

"With kidnapping Bella."  --

**Yep, a cliffie. I know I'm evil. But now you have a lot to look forward too, don't you?**

**The 411 On Everyone:**

**Bella: Driving all zombie like, is wondering why Alice is so frantic**

**Edward: Almost insane, pounding head against a tree**

**Alice: Frantic, is hoping that Bella doesn't get arrested**

**Jasper: Wondering when Alice will be home**

**Carlisle: Break dancing!**

**Esme: Buying Tanya a pendant she found in an Alaskan store**

**Rosalie: Cheering on Carlisle**

**Emmett: Cheering on Carlisle**

**Jacob: Is sulking over Bella, trying to kill Seth**

**Leah: Sulking over Sam, trying to kill Seth**

**Seth: Trying to cheer Jacob and Leah up, oblivious to the fact that Leah and Jacob would rather not have him around**

**Jane: Scheming with Mike, and planning to murder him at the same time**

**Mike: Scheming with Jane**

**Aro: Awaiting to hear from Jane (It's a solo mission)**

**Tanya: Playing cards with Kate and Irina**

**Kate: Playing cards with Tanya and Irina**

**Irina: Playing cards with Tanya and Kate**

**Renee: Doing the laundry, and humming "Singing in the rain"**

**Charlie: Gone fishing**

**See you next time! )**


	13. Sneak Peek! Into Jane's head we go!

Chapter Nine

Because I'm nice, I made a short chapter with no cliff hanger. Woohooh! Shout outs to Trricia and Kaname Chan who helped me make this decision! Lets get it started in here!

Stephenie: And I own Twilight!

Ninjas: Huaaaaaa! Kidnaps Stephenie!

ME: Thank you ninjas! And now I have full custody of all of the wonderful world of twilight!

Stephenie: Coughs No she doesn't Coughs

**Jane's POV**

I was exceedingly happy that Aro let me handle this mission, and it was a solo mission too! Aro will be so pleased! I used to be Aro's favorite talent. But then he had so much interest in that Swan girl. How I hate her for stealing **my **Aro.

But Aro's "eyes and ears" said that Bella had some recent head injury that disabled her control of herself. The Volturi can control her. How amusing. I will make sure she does the most embarrassing things in front of Aro.

I was running to the Cullen's house when I saw a strange boy with pink hair. He was an ugly thing, but probablly attractive by human standards if it wasn't for the missing front teeth and his flashing neon hair. But he held no candle to vampire beauty.

The strangest thing was he was walking around and muttering "Must...destroy..Cullen's." Repeated over and over. He also said "Bella...love...we must...go to my bed...and..." His mind really was quite explicit.

So the pitiful human boy loved Swan (I **refuse** to call her by her first name) Aro taught us that jealousy and vengeance were the best medicine. Perhaps I could use him, then save him for a feast in the near future.

A short while later I noticed him waking, and rubbing his eyes.

"Ugh wear am I?" He muttered, his body swerving from side to side. Then his eyes widened as if he realized something.

He bawled "No!" And sobbed into the Earth.

He is probablly the most pathetic person I have ever encountered in all of my forever.

"Hello boy." I said, trying to get his attention.

He looked at me and flashed a very non attractive, toothless grin.

"Hey girlie. What do you need?"

Uh oh, Jane. Step _awwwwaaaaaayyyyy_ from the pedophile. I stepped a good space backwards before I spoke again. The boy blinked as if he didn't notice.

"I need your assistance."

The strange pedophile leaned forward, trying to act seductive. I resisted the urge to flame him and concentrated on the rock that was under my foot. I crushed it easily.

 "With what?"  I grinned a smile that dazzled the boy senseless. Beauty really did come in handy sometimes.

"Kidnapping Bella Swan."

Now I had his attention. It took him a full minute to mull it over (Brainless humanoid) before he finally responded.

"Why?"  I took a quick analysis. Since he loves Swan he probablly hates Edward. Any good Volturi guard would use that to his or her advantage.

"Because I hate Edward, I want him to die. And she is far better off with someone as...uniquely handsome...as you." I hissed through my teeth. The lie even sickened _me!_

He fell to his knees and kissed my hand. I comapred this to the way human food tastes in my mouth and found no difference.

"Honey, I'll do whatever you want."

**And that was a sneek peek into Jane's brain. I hope you enjoyed it! R&R please! )**


	14. AN

Dearest Readers,

I am so sorry for not updating for a while. I have had serious writers block and homework to catch up on, and I'm sure you understand that! I promise I will update soon!

The Immortal Klutz

Edward: (Grumbles) Why do I have to do this?

TIK: It's for the readers! Just do it!

Edward: Fine...Hey everyone! Keep reading! (Throws dozens of roses) Thanks!

TIK: Yay!


	15. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

**Thank you for being so patient, all of you!**

**You are probablly wondering why I am updating after the most recent AN. Well you have to thank my real life friends Magaline and McMac (Nicknames, to protect their privacy) for that. I started them with FanFiction and as it turns out, they liked my story and practically threatened to send me to the Volturi to update. **

**Trust me, they're completely serious.**

**So I give you Chapter Nine! **

**And I own EVERYTHING, despite what Stephenie Meyer says.**

**SM: That is so untrue! Liar, liar, liar!**

**ME: You can't prove that**

**SM: Behold, the wonderful power of....PEPPER SPRAY!**

**ME: Aaaah! Okay okay It's not mine!!!! Just don't spray that stuff in my eyes! **

**SM: Meh. I'll do it anyways. (Spray)**

**ME: WTF? OWE!!!! #$!^!(%!*(**

**Alice's POV:**

Poor naive Bella. Driving down the road, partially against her will, completely confused about the situation. The vision meant that Jane was perhaps going to change Bella, and I absolutely could not let that happen. Then I realized something that was perhaps more terrifying than the entire Volturi itself.

Edward's reaction.

After the cryptic message I gave him about Bella's most recent mental issue, he would definently not be happy to find out that his loved one was in danger of being murdered or controlled by his enemy. Or both.

I sighed. It was probablly better to face the music. With that last thought I began to dial.

**Edward's POV**

Why was life so completely complicated?

Of course it wasn't enough that Bella was a human who had such deliciously appetizing blood and I was a vampire. It wasn't enough that Bella was nearly killed by James and Victoria. It wasn't enough that her best friend is a werewolf whom I despise. It wasn't enough that Mike Newton nearly _seduced _Bella while she had amnesia.

Of course all that _wasn't _enough. Now she had no free will either.

My poor Bella would need more protecting than ever. She didn't deserve me. She didn't deserve this...

I felt a vibrating form from the inside of my pocket. My cellphone. I jerked it out of my pocket and saw the caller ID. Alice. She definently had some explaining to do...

But that's when I heard the slightest snap.

I watched in horror as the top part of my cellphone slid to the ground. The screen faded to black.

I screamed in rage and through the remaining bits of the phone with great force at a nearby tree.

Suddenly, the tree glowed an eerie red color and burst into flames.

Apparently vampires shouldn't throw cell phones at trees. You learn something new every day.

**Bella's POV**

"Alice what's happening?" My voice rose. I began to panic. Alice has been in a frenzy ever since we left the mall. She was panicking, dialing random phone numbers, and whispering so low that my ears couldn't even detect a sound.

"I can't tell you." Alice snapped, and returned her gaze to the numbers on the cell phone screen.

"Please?" I begged.

She sighed an exasperated, melodic sigh.

"I guess you have every right to know." She finally said.

I was silent, waiting for her to begin.

"I have been getting strange visions of you lately. One with you supposedly calling someone "Uncle", and other visions of your immediate doom. But the most recent vision..."

Alice gulped.

"Jane was at your throat." She finally finished.

Everything was quiet. I could only hear the low hum of the vehicle below me as I once again came to realize that I would be facing another dilemma that could possibly end in my death.

"And Edward isn't picking up the phone either. I don't know what that could mean Bella. His future...it's blank."

I was unable to see anything. Tears blinded my eyes as I soon realized what this meant.

_Edward!_

"WATCH OUT!"

Alice and I screamed as the car swerved across the highway, just narrowly missing the other driver's.

"Drive Bella! Drive!"

But I couldn't. My mind argued with my emotions. Sure, I was driving, but I was driving excruciatingly, dangerously bad. I couldn't exist anymore now that Edward was gone. I could tell from Alice's expressions, he was gone. Gone. It was over. Everything.

I looked into the fevered eyes of Alice Cullen, her face contorted in rage. My heart was too contorted to feel any guilt for what I was about to do.

"Isabella Swan! Stop the car this in-"

But she was too late. The last thing I saw was the forest trees below the cliff the tires of my truck were dangling over. The car flew threw the air, and before I slipped into unconsciousness, I felt the force of two cold stone bodies. One with red eyes....one with gold.

**Edward's POV**

Perhaps I could call Alice again at home. She probablly was worried about me since my phone was off. But I didn't care. I just needed to make sure that my Bella was safe.

Then the smell hit me.

My nose wrinkled at the impact of the smell before I could sense the immediate danger.

I criss crossed through the woods, doing anything at all to run from harm's way. I could feel the pulsating heat radiating from my attacker, the fast and fevered motion of his heart.

_Badump Badump Badump Badump_

The trees flew behind me in a blur, a tangled web of green leaves and moss. It surprised me that the mess of trees screeched to a halt. I stopped, only to process what was in front of me.

In front of me stood a mile high mountain, going straight up vertically. Jagged rocks stood from beneath the mountain. I was trapped.

I turned to face my attacker, prepared to fight to the death.

The wolf crouched into an attacking position. The thing lunged through the air and...

**Jane's POV**

I learned the name of the pedophile neon haired boy was Mike Newton. I wanted so badly to kill him. He had been following me, asking me constant questions about what the plan was going to be. He also attempted to assault me a couple times as well.

He was on my Bad List. As soon as I was through with him, I would kill him.

Then I began to think. What good was he to me? He had been giving me no information so far, and all I needed was Bella's whereabouts. All he was providing me with was annoying chatter.

"Mike. Where may Bella be?" I asked in my sweetest voice.

He snorted before responding. "I don't know. That's why you're helping me. You aren't doing that good of a job though. You should let big boys like me handle things like this."

He did **not **just say that.

Not only did he insult me, the most skilled attacker on the Volturi guard, but he called me _young _and **inexperienced!**

Rage bubble inside of me and I couldn't contain it. The boy fell to the forest floor writhing in pain.

Served him right.

"You just made the biggest mistake of your pathetic life."

I laughed loudly, throwing my head back into the air.

His eyes stared at me in fear. How I loved to see horror in my victim's eyes before they became my meal. Human's were truly worthless. I would never make that mistake again.

I smiled before I lept through the air and tore Mike Newton's face off.

Delicious.

**And so begins where the story takes a slight morbid turn, I warn you. All beginning with Mike Newton's (cough cough) **_**unfortunate **_**death. Meanwhile will Bella and Alice survive? Would Edward be able to fight the wolf off? And just who is this wolf anyways? What does Jane have in store for the Cullen family.**

**Find out in the next installment of Alice's Closet. **

**So before I let you go, I'm going to give a short scene between Rosalie and Emmett so nobody out there becomes depressed and starts cutting their wrists.**

**Mkay? Good.**

**Emmett's POV**

Rosalie was curled into my shoulder as we watched old movies on the couch. They were playing one of Marilyn Monroe's best movies, The Prince and The Showgirl.

This brought back so many memories. Especially when I took Rosalie on one of our first dates to the theater's to see the release of the very movie. How ironic.

And that's when the telephone rang.

"I'll get it." Rosalie started to say, but I put my finger to her lip's to stop her. She smiled coyly.

"Why would I let a lady answer the phone? Let a gentleman do the job."

I plucked the phone from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Would you be interested in McManoos beauty products?"

"Uh, who is this?" Shoot this better not be some telemarketer.

"I am a representative for McManoos supply companies. I'm Laurie. Would you be interested in some eye liner?"

Why would a guy where eyeliner?

"Er..."

"We have millions of eye liner for men who want to embrace their feminine side. Are you tired of hiding your true personality Mr. Cullen? Do you want to embrace your feminine side? Are you tired of hiding from the world? You need to create a new, beautiful, you!"

Actually she had a good point. Laurie was very persuasive.

"Well I suppose I might want some..."

"Great so I just need your credit card number among other things and you could finally come to figure out the true you! So just give me your phone number..."

Before I could begin to tell Laurie everything about ourselves, Rosalie grabbed the phone from my hands.

"Shut up bitch! Don't ever call our house again or I'll shoot you down myself!"

With that, Rosalie hung up.

"Don't let those telemarketers brain wash you."

I shrugged sheepishly.

"You can answer the phone from now on Rosalie."

**The end! And don't forget, reviews make me happy! Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed before! Love you!**

**-Lil**


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